Now What? Guest List!

One of the very first things you should discuss with your planner is the size of your guest list. Figuring out your wedding guest list size is crucial to planning - but it isn't always an easy number to come up with.

Etiquette dictates that if someone else (your parents, his aunt, etc) is contributing to the cost of the reception, then they have input on who is invited. For example, you may not know your grandmothers friends, but it would be in poor taste not to invite them to the giant party she is throwing for you! On the flip side, if you and your fiancé are footing the bill, you do not have to cave to pressure to have a larger event than you can afford by inviting all of your mothers co-workers.

Once you figure out your number, the fun can begin. We can start looking at venues that will suit your size and tastes. Have you always envisioned you, your family and closest friends sipping champagne on the roof of an exclusive hotel? Then we won't show you the biggest venue available. On the flip side, if you've always imagined your wedding to be a huge blow-out affair with loads of people dancing the night away, we'll take you to the biggest and best venues you can afford to accommodate all of those guests!

What about sticky situations? Everyone has to deal with them during the planning, here are a few things that commonly come up:

1. One of my guests has just started dating someone, and even though he did not RSVP +1, he would now like to bring her. What do I do? This one is super frustrating because if he didn't RSVP with her in mind 3 weeks ago, what are the chances they are a serious couple now? Do you really want this woman you barely know at your wedding just so he'll have someone to dance with? Doesn't he know that it costs $150 a head? Aaah! Our advice is to just let your (invited) guest know that you will give him an answer as you get closer to the wedding, like a few days away, after you have your final headcount in to the caterer and the venue. Explain that trimming the guest list is one of the most difficult parts of planning and that you are sorry and you'll see what you can do. You never know, maybe someone at his table will cancel at the last minute. Either way, don't sweat over it. A friend will understand if you aren't able to accommodate his new girlfriend and you can always make plans to get together after you return from your honeymoon.

2. My family and/or future-in-laws keep inviting people! This one is tricky, because you don't want to offend anyone, especially if they have a financial hand in the wedding and feel they are allowed to invite friends to "their" party. Traditionally, only the hosts may invite guests. If your parents are paying, then they are the hosts, it's that easy. You will just have a few strangers in your wedding pics, no big deal. If you are paying, then you are the hosts - it works both ways. If your future-in-laws can't stop inviting neighbors and friends that you've never met, put the brakes on that immediately with an honest conversation. "I'm sorry, but we have a very limited number of people we can invite. I'm afraid we can't accommodate her. Please be sure to let her know as soon as possible." If that doesn't work, then try the more direct version, "I'm sure they'll understand when you tell them it wasn't your place to invite them and they cannot be accommodated."

3. What about a B-List guest list? Using A/B guest lists is very tricky and must be handled with the utmost care. If you are inviting tons of out-of-town family and none of them can make it, it's totally reasonable to move on to B list guests once the A list has declined. Just don't send the B list invites too close or past the RSVP date - that is a dead giveaway to what you're up to. Be mindful of how you would feel if you knew you were only being invited because Aunt Edna has the flu.

There are tons of instances like this that come up, unfortunately there often isn't a clear answer. Your planner can always handle these issues with tact and class. No one wants their family mad at them before the big day, let us take the heat!

Etsy Crush

I love a maritime theme for a wedding and every item in the 2HandsStudios shop is perfect.

These flags are up cycled from sails and bulk pricing is available. You could get the 'hip, hip, hooray' ones for the head table!

And these are the cutest favors I have ever seen for a beach wedding!

Now What? Stress!

At some point during your wedding planning, you'll want to say, "Forget this! We're going to Vegas!" It's true, it happens to everyone. Whether it's your mothers constant questioning of your every decision (A red dress?! No cake?!) or strangers little advice nuggets (I would never let my husband wear tennis shoes!) or a vendor being unresponsive - something will put you over the edge. Here are some tips to help you deal with the stress:

1. Turn off the internet. Pinterest, Weddingbee, Offbeat Bride, Eat Drink Chic - I love them all. Spending hours looking at inspirational photos is so fun, right up until the point when it isn't. Seeing all these perfect images of someones Anthropology inspired wedding (all DIY!) is enough to make you crazy with jealousy and start to second guess your choices. "Should I have handcrafted flags on the straws at our open bar?" should not be keeping you up at night.

2. "What a great idea, thank you so much." This phrase. Learn it, love it, live it. Your neighbor has a great photographer recommendation. Your co-worker suggests that you have monogramed matchbook favors. Your future mother-in-law thinks you should wear her old veil. "What a great idea, thank you so much." Then do whatever you and your fiancé feel is best.

3. Take a break. Go to the gym or run around the block (I am by no means suggesting you lose weight, believe me). Exercise is proven to make you feel better and the endorphin boost couldn't hurt in keeping your mood up. Better yet, take a week off from planning altogether. Talking about your wedding 24/7 sucks all of the fun out of it! With a little distance, you might realize that the great cocktail napkin debacle of 2012 wasn't really that big of a deal.

4. Know what you can do and what you can't. Trying to mesh your ideas of a perfect wedding, while also trying to "follow the rules" and keep up with family members' and friends' ideals is certainly a stressful task. The problem is more apparent when your ideal wedding doesn't follow the rules and doesn't fit in with the vision that friends or family have. Be true to yourself and your budget. Trying to have a big Hollywood wedding on a shoestring is a recipe for stress and disaster.

5. Stay focused. The whole point of your wedding is to get married, and that's it! As long you both show up, say your vows and leave together the rest is just icing on the cake! No wedding can satisfy every guest, no matter how hard you try. Just so long as you and your husband have had a good time, you're set.

Now What? Reception Timing!

One of the most difficult aspects of planning your wedding is the reception timing. You know that you'll want to have your first dance, cut the cake, maybe do a dollar dance, toss a garter belt, throw a bouquet, dance with your parents, eat dinner, visit guests and party...That's a lot of stuff to fit into a small window of time. No one wants their reception to feel like a never ending series of events MC'd by a drill sergeant, but how do you squeeze it all in?
Obviously, hiring a professional planner will take a lot of the mystery out of the logistics, we've been there and know how to time everything. Also, talking to your recently married fiends to see what they liked/disliked about the flow of their weddings if helpful, too. Here is an example of how a typical wedding would work:

4:00 Church
4:45 Service ends, receiving line, bridal party heads out for photos
5:00 Guests arrive at reception hall, cocktail hour
6:00 Dinner is announced, guests take their seats
6:15 Bridal party is announced, the couple dances their first dance
6:30 Dinner is served, toasts are made, the couple visits with the tables
7:30 Cake is cut, the couple thanks everyone for coming
7:45 Dessert is served
8:00 Dancing begins
8:30 Father/Daughter dance
9:00 Garter belt/boquet toss
9:30 Final dance
9:45 The couple makes their grand exit

That is a lot of action for just a few hours, and I left a bunch of stuff out! What if you want to add some cultural traditions? A special dance honoring your grandparents? Group photos? A food truck? There is an awful lot to consider and you only get one chance to do it right!

A day-of-coordinator can make all the difference in the world - a DOC will make sure that everything runs smoothly and on time, will give cues to your DJ to make announcements and can gently nudge groups of people in the right direction. How many times have you missed a cake cutting at a reception? Wouldn't it have been nice if there was someone in charge to let you know what was happening?

Etsy Crush

I am completely head over heels in love with these stamps from lilimandrill!

How adorable would this be as an embellishment on your thank-you notes? A stamper like this would also make a wonderful shower gift!

Now What? Budget!

One of the most important decisions you will make surrounding your wedding is your budget. Knowing early on how much you have to spend will make the entire process a breeze. Traditionally, you and your fiancé would sit down with both sets of parents to discuss how much each of them would be contributing and the brides parents would say "Oh, we have $100,000 put aside for your wedding! We've been saving for your whole life!" If that happens to you, congrats! But more realistically, you and your husband-to-be will be contributing something financially to the cause.

Make plans to sit down with your fiancé and talk openly and honestly about what you can afford. This should be a fun conversation free from guilt and pressure. As one of the very first things you two are doing together, as a team, you should be looking out for each other and supportive - but most of all honest. You are going to be together for a lifetime, don't start out in debt! Here is an example of smart financial wedding planning:

Michael and Michelle are newly engaged and have decided on a May 2013 wedding, that leaves 15 months until the big day! They have met with both sets of parents and know that each family will be contributing $2,500. Michelle is about to sock away $250 per month, while Michael is working on paying off his student loans and can put away $150 per month. He has $3,000 in savings that he is willing to spend on the honeymoon and she has $1,000 in savings that she will use to buy her wedding gown and shoes. This means that they will have $11,000 to spend on their wedding. Wasn't that easy?

One of the best things about wedding plannings is that you don't need all of that money up front. Most venues, photographers, planners, etc will only require a deposit and then full payment on your wedding day. That gives you lots of time to save.

As soon as you have that number set, you should do two things:
1. Open a separate bank account for wedding savings and spending. Keeping everything separate from your everyday money will go a long ways in keeping you both on track. Plus, it's fun to watch your money grow and work towards a goal together. Stay in one Friday night instead of going out to a fancy dinner? Put that extra $50 into the wedding fund!
2. Meet with your planner to decide how to best allocate those funds. Love flowers? Make sure a big chunk of your budget goes towards the florist. Not into the blooms? Move that money over to the food category and really wow your guests with a gourmet selection. A professional planner can make your dollars stretch farther than you ever thought possible.

Besides your first home purchase, this is probably the biggest chunk of money you will spend at one time. Let a professional planner tell your money where to go so you don't wonder where it all went!

Etsy Crush

Check out these simple and elegant invitations from Young Wanderlust Designs:

I am in love with the minimalist design and the price! These printable invites are easy on the budget and are sure to wow your guests.

Wedding Planner FAQ - Part 1

"So what do you do, exactly?"

As wedding planners, we can do a few things for you: Take care of all of your planning from A to Z, just assist a little here and there, or work as your DOC (day of coordinator) making sure that everything runs smoothly on your big day.

Full service planning can be helpful if you are already receiving so much "help" that you don't know where to look. Your mom knows a great caterer! Your cousin insists you use her florist! Your future MIL has already scheduled a few cake tastings for you! Your dad went to college with a guy who DJs for fun on the side! Your best friend is emailing your dozens of pictures a day of everything she would like for her dream wedding! The options are endless and everyone likes to have a say. We understand that you don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but that you also don't want to eat your moms favorite dinner while you dance to your dads favorite song. Someone working for you and your fiancé who will make your visions a reality can be a very reassuring thing.

Full service planning can also be helpful if you are planning an out-of-state, last minute or unusual wedding (we love those!). It's also great for busy ladies who just don't have the time for the legwork. Picture this: You email us a pic of a centerpiece you saw in a magazine at the grocery store. We find a florist in your price range who can recreate the look for you. We schedule the meeting. We review the contracts. You get what you want and don't pay an arm and a leg. Ta-Da! Wasn't that easy?

Maybe you already have your venue booked, the caterer is set, the centerpieces are chosen, etc. If there are a few things left on your list and you are just at the end of your rope (or budget), we can assist there, too! We know all the best DJs in town and how much they cost. We know the best photographers who specialize in the style you like. We are more than happy to help you figure out the finishing touches to make your Roaring 20's reception memorable.

If you have everything set in stone and you and totally finished planning, congrats! You deserve a break. After a year (or more!) of planning and DIY, wouldn't it be nice to just relax and enjoy your hard work? No bride should have to hustle in her bustle on her wedding day. Leave the details to us. We'll show up early and stay late making sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. If there is a problem, you won't even know about it. We've got it taken care of! Doesn't that sound nice?

Now What? Email!

If you just got engaged or are in the process of planning your wedding, here is a quick and simple tip to help you relieve some of the clutter in your life. Establish a new email address just for wedding planning purposes. While it may seem like just one more thing to do, creating a dedicated email address will allow you to have a single point of contact for all of your wedding vendors. I would suggest using Gmail, and creating separate tags or folders for each vendor, so that when you need to verify something, you can turn to that one spot for all of the correspondences. And one of the biggest sanity-savers is using this email address when you attend bridal shows. Every booth will want your contact info for giveaways and specials, and while that is great, you do not want to continue receiving those for the rest of your life—and believe us—you will!

So hop over to Gmail, Yahoo! or Hotmail and get started!

Chic Non-Floral Bouquets

Getting married at the beach? How about a seashell bouquet?

These feathers would be great for a Gatsby-style late night wedding.

This would be so beautiful for an autumn wedding. The bridesmaids could carry smaller versions, then they could be used for decor at the head table!

So perfect for a bookwork bride and groom. Maybe the rings could be brought to the altar in a hollowed out book?

There are so many amazing options available for the bride who chooses to forgo traditional floral bouquets. The benefits are obvious:
Price. Why spend a bundle on flowers you are going to use for exactly one hour? Spend those bucks somewhere else, like on a zip line ride on your honeymoon!
Longevity. You get to keep your beautiful bouquet forever!
Green. No flowers were cut, less pesticides were sprayed, and all that jazz.
Style. You know for sure that no one else will rock your exact bouquet.
Fun! Think of all the amazing spring Saturdays you'll spend scouring flea markets for the perfect brooches.

Inspired yet?

Etsy Crush

I get lost on Etsy, who doesn't? Everything is so beautiful! I saw this recently and I am in love:

The most perfect 'something blue' ever?

Everything in her shop is so pretty and well made, check it out!

etsy.com/shop/FallenSparrow

There are subtler blue options, but if you're going to do it, do it big and bold.